Flirting: there’s an app for that

From the New York Times:  the web has provided matchmaking sites since the dawn of time.  Now your phone wants in on the act and stands ready to help you with one of those dating skills that some find easy and others find incredibly difficult:  flirting.  Have trouble getting up the nerve to approach the guy or gal who’s got your attention?  There are apps that automate flirting like IFlirt4U.  It will strike most people as a bit on the unsophisticated side.

Potentially more useful is a wiki called How to Flirt from wikiHow.  Its free and offers useful advice.

Flirting is a challenge for those of us who are shy.  Starting a conversation at the gym or supermarket can feel daunting.  Alas, it is also pretty essential to the process of dating.  Perhaps technology can help a bit, but making the connection is ultimately up to you.  Some things to consider:

• Look approachable.  Be aware of your body language; let it communicate openness.  Don’t forget to smile.
• Break the ice.  Make eye contact.  Consider offering a compliment about what your crush is wearing or doing is a start; it’s best not to get too far ahead of yourself by commenting on body parts.  Introduce yourself.  Have trouble making small talk?  There are dozens of books on the topic.
• Your goal is a little light conversation.  Many people put too much pressure on themselves by feeling they’ve got to keep talking until the flirt turns into something like a first date.  No need to put that much pressure on yourself.  A little small talk is fine.  Don’t be afraid to ask a question or two, but give the person time to respond.  Chatting is a two-way streak.
• Look interested, not desperate.  A little humor can go a long way to put the other person at ease.  Avoid coming across in a manner that is so intense that it marks you as a potential stalker.
• If someone isn’t interested, move on.  This can be hard for shy people.  Give yourself credit for taking a chance, and don’t worry if you don’t hit a home run your first time at bat.

Can technology can help?  Maybe.  But flashing your phone with a large U R HOT text at someone in a crowded bar probably isn’t the shortcut to success.