Issues like intimacy, dating and relationships, sexuality, depression and anxiety bring people to my counseling and therapy practice. I’ve written dozens of articles to offer some help. They will also give you a sense of my perspective as a counselor. Many articles appeared in an earlier form in publications focused on the gay community, but the topics usually apply to all sorts of people. If you have questions or ideas for future columns, please email me. Thank you for not copying my work without my permission — which I will be happy to give you.
Emotional health
- Anger, pt. 1
- Anger, pt. 2
- Anger, pt. 3
- Anger, pt 4
- Conflict avoidance
- Crystal meth
- Depression and relationships
- Insecurity
- Moving beyond hurt
- New Years resolutions
- Seasonal affective disorder
- Self-esteem
- Shame and self-esteem
- When a friend says “I have HIV”
Overcoming anxiety
- Managing anxiety with mindfulness
- Managing anxious mind chatter
- Overcoming shyness and social anxiety, pt. 1
- Overcoming shyness and social anxiety, pt. 2
- Perfectionism
- Social anxiety and conversational skills
- Strengthening your conversational skills
Getting “unstuck”
- Balancing life and work
- Don’t take it personally!
- Drama and happiness
- Finding passion and meaning in life
- How change happens
- Letting go of illusions
- Passionate living
- Thriving as we get older
Family issues
- Coping with stressful families
- Family driving you crazy?
- Gay men and elderly parents
- Holiday hell
- When a parent dies
Spirituality and religion
- Escaping religious fundamentalism
- Gratefulness as a spiritual path
- Living with passion
- Spirituality and anger
Dating
Special dating issues
- Dating as an older man
- Dating closeted men
- Dating married men
- Dating with children
- Dating unavailable men
- Fear of commitment
- HIV status and dating
- Life and love online
- Age differences
- Too young?
- Unfinished business
The single life
- Getting over the end of a relationship
- Single and happy
- Single on Valentine’s Day
- When is it time to start dating again?
Better communication in relationships
- Communicating thoughts and feelings with your partner
- Email, texting and communication
- How to argue with your partner
- Improving communication
- Thoughts, feelings and clear communication
Strengthening intimacy
- Intimacy and masculinity
- Intimacy, vulnerability and commitment
- Lowering our barriers
- Pursuers and distancers
- The language of intimacy
Maintaining a healthy relationship
- Changing the dynamics of your relationship
- Changing your perspective
- Enhancing romance
- Expressing anger
- Fighting fair
- Negotiating sex outside the relationship
- Partners are more than friends
- Quality time in a busy world
- Relationship scripts
- Relationships and relatives
- Restoring trust in a relationship
- Talking about sex with your partner
- Touch
- Traveling together
- What makes a relationship a healthy one?
- When sex gets boring
Relationship issues
Starting or ending a relationship
- Friends and boyfriends
- Getting over the end of a relationship
- Is honesty always the best policy?
- Is love enough?
- Needing him
- New relationships, part 1
- New relationships, part 2
- Setting up house together
- Time to end a relationship?
- When is it time to stop dating someone?
Gay men’s sexuality
- Anal sex
- Are all men pigs?
- Bi boys and heteroflexibility
- Body image pressures on gay men
- Casual sex
- Changing sexual orientation?
- Gay men and masculinity
- Gay men and straight women
- Jaded eye for the queer guy
- Party drugs and sex
- Tribal sex
- Understanding sexual orientation
- Why do men bareback?
Increasing sexual pleasure
- Bad boys
- BDSM: playing with power
- Fantasies and realities
- Orgasms
- Pleasure
- Role playing, fantasy and fun sex
- Sexuality and aging
- Thinking about safer sex
- What makes a man sexy?
Sexual problems and concerns
- Bad Sex
- Sex and the internet
- ED drugs and sex
- Low sex drive
- Married gay men
- Porn
- Sex addiction
- Sexual shame
- Unsafe sex
